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Saturday, June 11th, 2005
3:55 pm
Please join NICE ANA's

http://www.livejournal.com/community/0nice0anas0

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Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
6:27 pm - Wow-I have not updated in ages!
Hi,

I have been very, very LAZY when it comes to writing on this thing. I'm the only person who reads it, but I guess it's nice to look back on, and if you are reading it well that is just great, cuz I am boring as all hell. I often log on and look at different communities-but hardly ever write anything. Oh well. Anyway a lot has happened since I last wrote. Like I went on the Young Endeavour for 10 days and that was great...yes, it's so friggin' cliched, but it did make me think a lot about who I am. I'd recommend it to anyone too. I also got a job in November. It was a God send of course because I now at least have some money. What else can I say? I'm still at Uni, workin' harder than ever I might add! Yes I also met Keith Urban which was awesome and saw him live of course...GO KEITH! Got to support our home grown talent. I saw Maroon 5 again too and they sucked because it was at Festival Hall which is a shitty venue. Also ROB THOMAS just bought out his solo album called 'Something to Be' and is great...God anything else? Probably, but I can't be stuffed writing any more :)

current mood: hungry
current music: Garbage-Bleed Like Me.

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Monday, July 19th, 2004
8:31 pm
hello maties...here I am in NOVEL oh the fun! it's great to be back here...and I had a crap day driving today. I ALMOST hit a massive dog, and it was a rotweiler. Scary. Then I couldn't find a park and I was late for class. This morning I parked in like a ditch and I almost couldn't get out!! IT was EVIL :( Anyway this week has been pretty SHITE all up actually. Hmm...I am tired...been here since 8:30am this morning, and I'm here till' 9pm :( totmorrow I'll be at mt. helen, what a GREAT day that should be...what else?? I have too many classes goddammnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 24 HOURS A WEEK!! Oh yes I love Shiley Manson and Michelle Branch right now...weird hey? Okay I'll go NOW...

current mood: crappy
current music: keyboards click, click, clicking...

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Friday, July 2nd, 2004
8:27 pm - SPIDERMAN rules!! :))
++Do you realize that nothing is real? When you think about it you only have the second you are living don’t you? Everything else is just a mere memory. All your possessions, everything, it isn’t real when your not actually touching it. I often wonder if when you close your eyes, everything disappears then comes back when you open them....++


It's good to be on holidays. The best thing about Uni is that we get even more holidays than High School! :)) It is nice to get some sleep in's too. Oh I am supposed to be writing the 10 000 word beginning to a novel. I've started but since I've had writers block..or laziness. I'll have to start getting onto it I think.

Woo Hoo, I went and saw Spiderman 2 on Tuesday! It rocked! I really enjoyed it-I thought it'd be boring, but it wasn't. I won the tickets so I wasn't fussed about it, but now I want to go and see it again! I love Spiderman now. OMG and Mikey from Queer as Folk was in it. There is this part where Spiderman walks inot an elevator with his suit on b/c he forgets he has it on. This is something how the conversation goes...

Mikey (Hal Sparks): "Nice Spidey suit!"
Toby Maguire: "Thanks"
"Where'd you get it?"
"I made it"
"Looks uncomfortable"
"It actually rides up the crotch a little"
Then Spidey walks out!

Anyway, it was my birthday and I had a great day. I got cool pointy boots and lots of pink things-including a pink scarf. I'm obsessed with vintage things right now too, so yesterday I got some vintage earrings from Sportsgirl. I love shopping, so I bought white cord pants, a green jumper with a fat neck w/ buttons on it and a red jumper which has a neck that folds over and reveals your shoulders. Oh and I have to say that the Spiderman 2 CD really rocks! It's fully of 'Emo punk' as Hit magazine states. Hit Magazine gave it a shit review...here it is:

Various.
Spiderman 2. (Sony)
SOUNDTRACKS like this are a dime a dozen. Look at any comic book or sci-fi related film lately and you'll se the same pattern:one or two decent big rockers, backed by unknowns record companies would like us to think aren't shameless carbon copies of currently hot acts. The distinguishing thing about Spiderman 2 is that the hot musical style it pins it's hopes on it emo punk-hence new songs from Dashboards Confessional (Chris Carrabba's first big rock anthem, Vindicated), Yellowcard, Taking back Sunday and The Ataris. But you know it's a sad state of affairs when, among the remaining Hoobastank and Evanescence wannabes, Train shine like a beacon. Oh and in an effort to relaunch their career, Killing Heidi are tacked on to the end of the Oz CD-their I Am is strong, but very No Doubt.

The Verdict: 2 stars
In a word: Predictable

I'd just like to say a couple of things about this review. One is that I know this guy hates Train. he bags them all the time in his little music columns. Another thing is that if all movie soundtracks are like this then BRING IT ON, becuase I can't stop listening to it! I thought it would be a good thing to have 'unknowns' becuase then we get to hear some up and coming stuff. If this is what emotional punk sounds like then I'm totally loving it :))

I am obsessed with punk music right now! I don't know why...

I'm lazy, so I only just got my licence on Tuesday! I didn't sleep on Monday night, well hardly. I got three hours all up. I got my manual so now I can drive auto too. I'm just glad to be free! It feels so weird driving by myself in the car :))

Shit, I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I went to church and I never go to church. Anyway in the front row of seats ADAM and JAMES from maroon 5 were sitting there!! Then The priest come out and guess who it was?? ROB THOMAS! How bizarre is that? Then I asked Adam to my B'day party and he actually came! TOO WEIRD...

current mood: full
current music: Spiderman 2 soundtrack...

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Saturday, June 26th, 2004
2:26 pm - Just trying something here...

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Monday, June 7th, 2004
9:27 pm - DoWnLoAdInG
I just downloaded lots of songs...i think it'll cost me big $$$ but I DON'T CARE anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!! he he he... :)

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Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
11:31 am - ::in the fringes of desire you set the starz on fire::
I'm here sitting in a UNI class. I am pretty bored, but I am about to do a friggin' oral presentation about a computer program! BORING!!! He he he...in editing I had do do an oral on Cliches, Idioms and Tautology! yay...now I've no idea how long it's been since I last updated-obviously a long time...I got the SHOW DVD: a night in the life of matchbox Twenty. OMFG it rocks so much!!!! Train annoy me right now, I just want to listen to YOSLY-NOT Meet Virginia! I've been writing songs with a guitarist for a while now, but I think it's about to go ::KABOOM:: beause I don't sing the way he wants me to. He wants me to sing like I'm in a musical or something and I'm all like 'NO...I want to sing this way' It annoys me...HE ANNOYS ME! He is a knowitall. I hate that-he isn't a singer or songwriter, he doesn't know about those things, he knows about guitars and amps. He said he likes my melody lines and now I'm worried b/c he recorded them and if he pisses off with them I'll be shitty! I'll be laughing when I'm famous! lmao...I'm allowed to dream. :) okay then well I am going on a ship yay! I got another job too...that'll do for now :)

current mood: anxious

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Saturday, May 1st, 2004
3:04 pm - OMFG!
KATHERINE AND I WON A HOLIDAY TO QUEENSLAND!!! YAY! okay now maroon 5:I always find it supremely interesting to watch a shift occurring in my life, in my thoughts and feelings. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's wild and fun, but impossible to capture. All I can do right now is sit back and watch trying to savor every moment and store it in my memory. A lot like a concert really. well I suppose that is were I can start. I long while back I made a folder under 'Jasmin's Work' called 'maroon 5 Pictures' and I have to say for a long time it remained fairly empty...with the exception of a few pictures.

I bought the Maroon 5 album, only becuase I knew they were touring with Matchbox Twenty, whom I loved only becuase they toured with Train, whom I loved only because they touched my heart. That was four years ago. I love the maroon 5 album, but I wasn't a fan HARDCORE. WELL AHEM...Ta da...I wake up a new woman. I am now HARDCORE...I MEAN FREAKING OMFG.

So I had my tickets set...very cheap I might add @ $30 a ticket for the Mercury Lounge. I book a hotel etc...I got to Melbourne on Wednesday morning AND GUESS WHAT? They will be at HMV Bourke St 12:30pm. So Kat and I run 5 city blocks and there they are SURROUNDED BY ABOUT 3000 PEOPLE. I didn't think they were THAT popular. They sing three songs...'Harder to Breathe' 'This Love' and 'Sunday Morning'. Great. Now there is this dude saying 'They are gonna sign CD's for half an hour'...but the security tells me 'Get behind the barricade's :(( and a guy tells me 'There is NO CHANCE of me meeting em' So I'm all :(( I keep hasseling the security, but they keep telling me NO!!! I get pissed and wait behind the barricade. With stupid REBECCA in my ear, saying 'Oh can I have a copy of your photos' NO! NO you cannot. Ten minutes go by and what happens this guy from NOWHERE comes and plucks me out of the crowd...along with Rebecca cos she wined that she was with me and she doesn't even have a freaking CD, she burned my copy. Anyway I got into VIP area!!! HELLO!! I take my CD and I am thinking 'Okay they'll be kinda snobby cos they are famous etc...BUT NO, they are damn awesome and nice!! They said 'Thank you for coming' to me...like I traveled 100km, they traveled thousands! They were so nice. So got my CD singed, had a little talk and off I go happy as anything!!!

Kat and I spend the rest of the day TRYING to avoid Rebecca. Successfully I might add. So that night we get to the Mercury lounge 8:30 and there is a line. There are no seats, so first in best dressed. OMFG we are waiting and BEC comes up behind me and tries to push in...but no...she has to go to the end of the line. We go in, the stage is TINY, I didn't even see it...and we are FRONT row. :) We stand waiting and SLOWLY Bec PUSHES in between kat and I!!!!!!! God, I was pissed. Anyway THIRSTY MERC were so awesome!!! I love em. Of course when Maroon 5 came out it was even better, OMG, it rocked!!!!!!!! I got ADAM'S PICK!!! LOL everyone in the front row got something. Either a drink bottle (Which rock star Adam had sucked on), picks or drum stick. Highlights include ADAM thinking he was totally HOT stuff....he was....but he can be with that much talent. Ahh, it was cool...despite Rebecca. I pushed her out of the way when she tried to get a pick and when she tried to touch Ryan. I was happy, becuase I touched Ryan, Adam, Jesse and JESSE'S GUITAR! LOL. I say to ppl now...pkay I TOUCHED ADAM who has TOUCHED ROB who has TOUCHED PAT etc...it's a big web. Oh yeah and Erin didn't go...this is what she said to me 'Dan and my boyfriend can't go so I don't wanna' ::SNORT:: okay then. She told me 'Love is disgusting' to which I totally agree, and this week she told me she loves her BF! OMFG relationships are gross...specially with men.

The thing I am so glad about is that maroon 5 are gonna be absolutely HUGE, especially with their next single 'She will be loved' (Number 1 for sure) so I got in early, before masses of psycho fans take over!! They are Hollywood darlings too...all the actors like them. My pics turned out great, which I didn't expect, as my camera is pretty crap. It was all SWEET...now I gotta meet TRAIN. Oh yes and Matchbox Twenty.

Now I have to go back too Uni/Work and I am totally depressed bout' that. I've been writing awesome songs and I bet now they work and stress will snuff out my creativity. I CANNOT THINK! ::Breathe:: Oh you know the other creepy thing, Pat reckons he's gonna get stupid man John Mayer (Oh I love him underneath...sure...it's weird) on Train's new album, and maroon 5 are friends with him and touring with him. :o Damn Pat, he is so strange.

current mood: awake
current music: FIVE for FIGHTING: the battle for everything

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Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
4:49 pm - Waaa ::SNIFF::
I'd like to start by saying I AM VERY SAD, because Pat and his wife are getting a DIVORCE! It's heartbreaking news, and I cannot believe it! I thought they were so in love and I was just so happy to see a 'rock star' married to a 'normal' woman. Anyway they've been married for 12 years and have 2 kids, so it shattering I think. The creepy thing is I actually dreamt it happened. It really sux ass. And Pat is there saying "This is a really positive time for me" LIKE NO-ROB LEFT THE BAND BECUASE HE HATES THE ORCHESTRATION ON DOJ, CHARLIE LEAVES BECUASE HE'S DRUGGED UP/DRUNK AND NEEDS REHAB, JIMMY DIVORCES HIS WIFE, THEN PAT DIVORCES HIS WIFE AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT SCOTT IS A DIRTY SLUT! Now who is Pat gonna write love songs for?? Rob fucking Thomas? I suppose the up side is that he can write angry, angry fucked up heart break songs.I love those kind of songs...he is masking his pain with laughter but it has to come out eventually...and it will. It'll make good music I am sure. man I hope this isn't a trend and ROB doesn't divorce MARISOL! COZ that would really make me cry. :( Waaa.... This is SO NOT a good thing right now! Apparently it happened wayyy back in January-so maybe I got bad karma vibes from the music, and that is why I am having a shitty time lately.

Okay I totally cannot believe that there are only like 4 episodes of QAF left! OMG and I read the episode guide and the finale is shite anyway :( I just want to cry now. I want to go and listen to 'I'm about to come alive' like a million times, and then maybe 'Blind' or something. This is retarded... ::SNIFF::

Okay so I am also so, so, so excited by that fact that in LESS THAT ONE WEEK I shall be going to see maroon 5!!! Kat, Erin, Bec and I are going. I wish it was only kat and I. Anyway. Kat and I are taking the Train down on Wednesday and wee have this cool hotel booked. Anyway we're gunna shop until like late...and then go to the hotel bar for a drink I think!!! Maroon 5 take the stage @ like 11:30pm but it opens at 9pm so I suspect we'll get there @ 9, as it's standing room only-NO SEATING! OMFG taking cell phone and camera so I can run it in when they play Harder 2 Breathe and This love! Great. It is going to rule. OMFG I dyed my hair pink last nite! Oh it was already blonde and pink-but now it's just PINK. I like it alot. :)

I'm still sad about Patrick toooooooo :( WAAA!

current mood: shocked
current music: Better off Alive-Train

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Sunday, April 4th, 2004
5:44 pm - On a break @ last!
It's been a short term, but it doesn't feel that WAY! Jesus, I feel crappy. I just don't know sometimes. I feel like this year I've been put totally out of my comfort zone, like just thrown into a ring with lions or something. It's fucking bizarre. I wish I could bottle the anxiety and give it to someone I don't like. :( I've been feeling very anxious lately too, so there'd be plenty to give. ANGST=MUSIC I hope. Just hopefully not AVRIL ANGST music!!?? Okay so I went out on Saturday night and I was totally having a good ol' time. I ACTUALLY ATE McDONALDS, can you believe it? I ate it and just bit my tongue and didn't care. So the food side seems to be doing well at the moment. Unfortunately bad luck is JUST NOT RUNNING OUT. I was in the bar @ this party I HAD 5 Drinks (I've had many, many more before) 1 Modouri, 1 beer and 3 wines. On my 3rd wine It was like BANG, something had hit me. I'd been talking to this guy and joking about having drugs, but I think he took it seriously. I don't exactly know what he put in my drink. At first I thought it was like speed, cuz I was shaking, my heart was beating FAST, and I was cold, but then I had hallucinations, so it could've been XTC or something. I locked myself in the loo, as I knew if I passed out it'd be dangerous in the bar. I just waited for my dad, and I felt awful. I have not slept since, because I can't stop shaking and I feel wired???!!! I feel shit though, like really horrid. :( Man it was evil shit. I am never going out again, I swear. I even made my mum promise not to let me ever!!!! Now the other crappy stuff. I had Cellulitis, and then like a week after I got away from the hospital, MY MUM GOT IT!!! can you believe that shit?? How evil is it?? It isn't even contagious, for fucks sake. She was in hospital for eight days and now she's on a walking stick. It really, really sucks. OMG tomorrow I'm in the god forsaken pool for FOUR AND A HALF HOURS! That really is gay isn't it? I honestly don't know how I'll get thru it. Okay so maybe I'm not over the whole food angst thing...thinking now, I always feel like stuffing my face with CHIPS, CHOCOLATE, CAKES, FRIES, BURGERS, PANCAKES, ICING, KFC, ICE CREAM, ANYTHING FRIED, BREAD, CUTTER, TOAST, CEREAL, BANANA CHIPS, AVOCADO, CREAM, OMFG!!!!! I want, I want I want...waaa but I cannot fucking have, cos if my metabolism gets fucked up, that is it, I'm back to a beefcake size 12 again, which would kill me...totally. Like I had a dream last nite, that I could not fit into my size 6 jeans and that really scared me. I almost have my license (MANUAL I might add), and now I am on a BREAK!!! Well off now I SUPPOSE.

current mood: blank
current music: Vulture Street-Powderfinger

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Saturday, March 20th, 2004
5:28 pm - Hello There, the angel from my nightmare...
Oh wow, It's been so long since I updated-which doesn't really matter cuz no one cares anyway, but I really should write in here more often. Okay...ahem. Weeelllll it's been a HUGE couple of months, what more can I say?? There are a lot of external and internal things going on. I have been so busy, run off my feet totally. I don't get a moment to even stop! At least I know I'm alive. LMAO my friends try to get in contact with me and they can't, because they are weasily and won't call my mobile. Or they won't email me, because they all technophobes. Jeez I feel cool @ work in reception, because I get my own spinny/swivelly chair and computer. That said I feel shitty in the water with chlorine in my eyes lol. No, no tisn't too bad, and I have great leg muscles now, from pushing against water all the time/using a metal belt to hold me down so I can take underwater pictures of the kiddies.

Oh holy cow man, you know what happened?? I STUBBED MY TOE @ the pool and it bled, but I thought it was okay (This was on a Monday) then on the WED I was shopping and I felt great. I was trying on clothes and it was like someone had suddenly STABBED me in the thigh, like full on knifed me. I felt really sick and then collapsed, just as my mum turned up. I went to the hospital (AGAINST my wishes, becuase I DON'T get sick and I HATE DOCTORS) where I found that I had a 39.9 temp, so they gave me saline and TRIED to make me stay overnight, but I wouldn't. So they told me I had a blood clot and that I should take aspirin and put a hot water bottle on my leg. I did, and I felt myself feeling sicker, but I didn't want to say anything in case mum worried. That night it was like someone had ripped the knife all the way down my leg, and I couldn't walk. LOL I was like 'I don't give a fuck!! I don't need a doc!!'. When I woke up next day I had a shower and I was almost finished when saw white and went paralyzed-BUT OMG I was going to have dignity, so I pulled myself up and got a towel before blacking out and I don't remember anything else. ALTHOUGH I thought I was conscious @ the time LOL, and my legs just twitching. It was so scary, I thought I was going to die, full on god damnit! I found out it was actually Cellulitis, NOT a blood clot, and becuase I'd let it go, it'd turned into blood poisoning. Then my vein went red all the way up my leg, it was GROSS. LMAO, the funny thing is they gave me this really strong antibiotic, which I turned out to be allergic to. My throat closed up and I couldn't breathe, and THEN I THOUGHT 'SHIT!!! I really am gonna die' but they gave me adrenaline and I didn't die. They finally found the right drugs to give me and I thought I'd be out of hospital in like a day-BUT NO! 5 fucking hellish days of laying on my back ( I was not allowed to use my leg) AND I wasn't allowed to do ANYTHING!!!!! I was SO pissed. I was just getting more pissed becuase I lost 2kg of MUSCLE MASS, which I worked VERY hard to get!!! They also fed me total junk. I'm like 'where the fuck is my sushi and my vanilla latte?' and they're like 'here have some lovely stewed cow (I'm a vegetarian) and half set chocolate mousse' SO UNIMPRESSED. It's okay, I am back into my excursive routine and no carbs diets, as well as Uni and work. Thank Christ. My leg is still sore and it drags along behind me if I overuse it, but other than that I'm happy! Once all the muscles/nerves/arteries recover I'll be great!!!! Wow man I needed totally to get that out of my system, cuz I don't like verbalizing it. It is much easier to write.

MAN there is so much other stuff!!! SO MAROON 5 are coming to the Mercury Lounge on the 14th April!! I am getting my ticket tomorrow! I love those guys, they rock. Only one of my mates is a DJ (He gets payed like $300 p/h) and he said the Mercury Lounge sux :(( It's 3rd floor Crown Casino, and only holds 800 ppl. Yes, yes, yes Rob Thomas' album shall be out in OCTOBER!!!! I wonder if he'll have special guests!? Well he'd better have PATTY or else, because I TOTALLY love Train again! Can you believe it!! OMFG they rule the roost. God I saw a video of Rob and Adam singing 'Harder to Breathe' and I almost died! WOW! OMG I got Pirates of the Caribbean on DVD too! Yes, I love it and I can watch it anytime I WANT. Orli and Johnny Rule the screen man. I got 4 free posters with it, cuz I pre-ordered it!! Yay. My room is totally rockstar now-three walls covered. Man that reminds me- I can't wait to go on tour some day. With my guitar and bus. I hunger for music now more than ever, it's such a strong desire. Phew Hidalgo is out now too-I HAVE to go and see it, because Viggo rides those horsies, right across that big ol' desert.He picks up a few chicks along the way. as well as Orlando. Ahem... :)

Okay, I just know I am gonna remember something once I stop writing,

But Ciao!! :)

current mood: crappy
current music: My Private Nation-Train

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Thursday, February 19th, 2004
9:38 am - Woot!
He he he, I am UNI right now, just thought I'd drop a line to tell anyone who cares!!! I'll update more when I have time (I KNOW it has been ages)I have been living up O WEEK and I cannot remember last night or the night before at all... :(
Love
Jasmin

current mood: sleepy
current music: Computers humming

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Saturday, January 24th, 2004
7:18 pm - PISSED
I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OF LIKE YOU FRIGGING WOULD NOT BELIEVE. MAN I AM GONNA SERIOUSLY CUT SOME FUCKERS THROAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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6:49 pm - STUFF...
Wednesday 22nd January 2004

Woops, it’s been ages again. Well time flies, and it has been lately.

Well I got into University. I will be enrolling in Arts/Professional Writing and Editing. I honestly didn’t think I’d get in, because I had to send them a big fat folio of writing and the reasons I wanted to do the course. I was also a late applicant, so I was like ‘yeah they’ll hate me’

I actually just got home from a holiday. Man I am badly sunburned on the neck. I got sunburned over and over on one spot about six times. I went to the beach and nearly every day the surf was pretty crap- it was only about 2 metres at the most. I didn’t get many good waves L I am sure I will get over it. I ate too much though! Yeah, I am not gonna eat for a year.

Oh yay, I got a job…woot! I am gonna be a swimming teacher now, well part time anyway. So there were over 100 interviews and I got the job, so I was really shocked. I am not like a super smart person or anything so I don’t know why I even got it. LOL I also have to help in reception so I am learning the Cappuccino machine, EFTPOS, the cash register, telephone system etc… and I have to check the pool temp, chlorine and give out certificates to the little kiddies. The best part is, within a year I’ll be earning $20 an hour, which is good dough in my book.

Well I am really busy now…I’ve been getting driving lessons and damn I don’t have time for anything else these days. So I was thinking to myself ‘What can I do?’ Like when am I sposed to write a song and friggen compose melodies? They take ages even if they’re shite. So then I thought I just won’t sleep from now on…ha ha ha…wonder how long that’ll last. But maybe I can just cut of like an hour and a half a night or something, then I’ll have extra time. OH the STRESS!!!! Imagine when I am *famous*? What am I gonna do then? LMFAO! Hmm…Donuts…

So what else?? Oh well I actually listened to Train on my holiday. I listened and liked. I feel sorry for Patty Watty, because I think he may be partially retarded, and I feel sorry for the retards out there. I should do more charity work. Speaking of charity, Jimmy went to a children’s home and gave them money etc, then he played some songs for the kiddies. Isn’t that sweet. I always knew he was the best. I saw Pat on ‘So Fresh’ This morning, God, what a…I can’t think of a word to describe the MoFo. Anyway he goes “You’re watching the best new videos on SOOOOFRESSH” In this really dumbass voice, like a little baby or something. LOL oh the hilarity.

Um, well Maroon five have released a new song. “This Love” is their new single; they are a very good band. Jeez Adam looks pretty hot in the film clip too. Good on you Adam. I like the pink trees in the film clip-they rock. Matchbox Twenty also have a new single called ‘All I Need’, great song, go buy it.

Ahhh that should do it for now. Gosh, we’ll see what I love/hate next month eh?
Bye NOW…

current mood: bitchy
current music: Arthur Snoring

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5:53 pm - In Dreams 4
TITLE: In Dreams (God will they ever get to the Motel?)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Did not happen…you know the drill!
Warnings: Hmm let me see, fluff once again, sex as usual, ANGST big time again. Hmmm this chapter is also kinda long.

The police offer tapped on the window, and it only took a moment for Viggo and Orlando to realise, with a rather large degree of mutual relief that the officer probably didn’t see what had just happened. Either that or he was hiding his knowledge or fear very well.

“You guys stuck?” The police officers voice was deadened by the car window. Viggo quickly wound it down and poked his head out.

“Uh, yeah we just broke down…” He looked back at Orlando, as if to ask what to say. Orlando just looked back blankly, seemingly consumed by confusion. Viggo turned back to face the officer “We’re out of gas”

“Uh! Well I have a can of it in the patrol car, it could keep you going until you find somewhere to fill up” The officer didn’t give Viggo time to reply, as he walked off hastily towards his car. Orlando sighed with relief and smiled at Viggo,

“Thank god he didn’t see us!” he giggled

“Yeah, that would’a been a nice surprise!”

“Very nice”

“Imagi-” But before Viggo could say anything more the police officer was back with gas. He seemed chirpier than when he had first arrived and more helpful than he had first seemed.

“I’ll just pop this in and let you guys on your way!” he boomed, Probably loud enough for people miles away to hear. Clunking and banging could be heard at the side of Viggo’s car, as the officer filled the tank up. Viggo and Orlando continued to smirk slyly at each other as the car was prepared to drive again. When he had finished his task, only a few minutes later, the Police Officer strolled back to Viggo’s window. He prodded his head in through the window, but his time he looked at Orlando.

“Well take care on the road boys!” After a moment of silence, to Orlando’s horror he eyed his white-stained shirt. Orlando quickly diverted his eyes, but it was too late, “And uh, ‘how bout being a little more *discrete* on the road, in the future?” The officer flashed a half-cocked smile, and Viggo almost died of embarrassment in his seat. Orlando just sank down, and looked as if he might cry. In a moment the Police Officer was gone, zooming down the road past them in his car.

“That…” Viggo began “That was crazy” Orlando was still slumped in his seat, trying to figure out wether he should laugh or cry. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah I suppose I am” Orlando replied wryly.

“Well, let’s get outta here while we have the chance”

“Okay”

Orlando remained quiet for the rest of the journey, which was very unusual. Viggo tried to make a little conversation, but it seemed no use. Orlando was shocked and very scared. He felt tremendously uneasy, and it was showing on his face.

Finally Viggo slowed the car down. Orlando looked about with interest as he tried to figure out where this great motel was. It seemed though, that they were in the middle of the New Zealand bush. Orlando frowned at Viggo,

“Come on kid, follow me” Viggo looked mischievous and wicked

“Oh no Viggo, what are you up to?” Orlando was not sure he wanted to follow Viggo. He was known to do some crazy things-he could get Orlando or himself killed.

“Just trust me!” Viggo jumped out of his seat and went around to open Orlando’s door. Orlando sighed, obviously still thinking about what he should do. “Come on! Where is that adventurous and sinful boy I saw before?” Orlando laughed slightly, but with an ironic tone.

“He disappeared with that cop back there”

“Oh God, don’t let him ruin the night Olri”

“It was totally mortifying Vig! Even you were embarrassed”

“So? I am over it now”

“Yeah whatever…” Orlando seemed resentful that he’d even come with Viggo. Viggo lowered his head, sighing with defeat.

“Well, do you want to go back-“ Orlando quickly cut him off,

“No! No, honestly it’s fine…I just feel a little strange is all”

“Okay, but only if you are sure”

“Yes Viggo. I am” Orlando got up out of his seat, slammed the car and began to follow Viggo off the side of the road and into thick wall of tress. Orlando sighed, loudly, sounding half scared half annoyed.

“Just follow” Viggo muttered from in front of Orlando.

“I am!” Orlando struggled to reply as he got an ankle tangled in some sticky, creeping weeds.

Finally a clearing emerged in front of Viggo.

“Now this is better than any hotel!” Viggo laughed aloud.

“Wow…Viggo, this is so cool” Orlando stared wide eyed at the cabin in front of them, “No one would ever know this existed”

“But I do!” Viggo said with a twinkle in his eye. “Isn’t it great?” Orlando just kept staring at the log-wood cabin. It fitted in very well with it’s surroundings, except for a very bright red door, and bright yellow window frames. Orlando was stunned out of inner thought by Viggo’s voice,

“Come on!” He grabbed Orlando’s hand and dragged him towards the door. Viggo flipped a key out of his pocket and with a click the door pushed open. A waft of cold air hit them both in the face. Orlando giggled peering into the dark room,

“This is a little creepy too Vig”

“How’s that?’ Viggo replied as he began pushing newspaper into a fireplace

“Well, you know- you here about places like this in stories when you’re a kid…at least I did”

“Yeah, I guess…” Viggo replied distractedly as he kicked at the fireplace, “Fucking fire won’t start!” He screamed looking extremely frustrated. Orlando watched as Viggo disappeared out of the room and came back a few minutes later with a can of fuel. He had a manic grin playing on his face as he let out a frenzied laugh “This should do it!” He exclaimed as he poured the intoxicating liquid onto the logs and paper. Surely enough the fire started when Viggo put a match to it. He sat back on his heels as the flames devoured the wood. When Viggo turned around Orlando was sitting in a high backed cane chair lost in deep thought. His brown eyes lit up by the fire he was staring into, his brow slightly furrowed.
“What’s up kiddo?”

“Nawthin…” Orlando trailed off pursing his lips

“Come again?” Viggo scrunched up his face

“Nothing…nothing is wrong, I was just thinking ‘bout filming and stuff” Viggo touched Orlando’s hand as an attempt to comfort him, but he flinched away and looked slightly afraid; His wide brown disks staring down at Viggo, as if he was shocked. Viggo frowned, feeling concerned.

“You are not alright…are you?” Orlando unconsciously rubbed the back of his neck trying to think of what to say next. “You wanna go home” Viggo looked up at the younger man in expectation. Orlando’s shoulders slumped.

“I honestly don’t know what I want”

“I thought you said you knew”

“I do. I know I like you…I just don’t know how my mind or conscience or body…or bloody whatever the fuck it is, is going to react anymore”

“I kind of understand what you are trying to say, but let me tell you I am only handling this any better than you because I am older and I’ve hand more experience in life” Viggo smiled half heartedly at Orlando, hoping that what he was saying might help him. To Viggo’s surprise Orlando reached down and stroked his hand

“I know Vig” He smiled back “I guess that cop scared me…”

“Yeah” Viggo giggled; “It was pretty scary shit” Orlando just nodded and kept stroking Viggo’s hand. “If you like…we don’t have to do anything. We can just talk” Orlando half rolled his eyes-Viggo was too nice sometimes. Maybe Orlando needed some toughing up.

“Viggo I have waited far too long already. I just need your help coping with some stuff is all” Viggo was a bit perplexed, he was worried Orlando might change his mind tomorrow and then change it again the next day

“Ohhkay” Viggo dipped his head trying to comprehend what Orlando as saying. Orlando grinned a bit,

“I am still shitting myself, but I think you should just fuck me” Viggo’s mouth opened with shock. He had not been expecting that to come from Orlando’s mouth.

“Uh…” Orlando was smiling widely now “Okay if that’s what you-“

“Yes…yes, god no, it’s wrong, but so goddamn right Viggo”

“Yes it is…it really is” The two men stared at each other for a luscious, heat filled moment. Viggo could feel his insides tingling from the intensity of Orlando’s stare. He stood up, wavering above Orlando for a moment before he claimed Orlando’s mouth in a blistering kiss. He explored Orlando’s hot cavern with a passion he’d never quiet felt before in his life. Orlando replied to Viggo’s fervent invasion with even more strength and lust driven force. Viggo tasted like cigarettes and coffee, and Orlando loved every bit of it. When the lack of air forced them apart, Viggo stared at Orlando; his eyes filled with smoky yearning, his lips kiss swollen and flushed.

“You are disgustingly beautiful” Viggo mused, eyes shining. Orlando blushed shyly and grinned at Viggo.

“And you’re not?” Viggo just laughed and pecked Orlando’s cheek mischievously.
God damn you Olri…” Orlando laughed loudly, because he felt exactly the same way about Viggo. He’d never felt so horny in his entire life.

By now cabin was warm and very comfortable.

“This way…” Viggo took Orlando’s hand and drove him gently to the bed, sitting in the corner of the room.

“Jesus this is perfect…you are too much Viggo” Viggo bit his lower lip and looked at Orlando with a tilted head “…So come get me” Orlando gave a seductive look and threw his head back.

“I’m gonna” Viggo raised an eyebrow before pulling his shirt over his head, then walked slowly towards the bed. Orlando could tell he was going to be a complete tease. Viggo hovered above Orlando smiling,

“I am going to take good care of you Orli” Viggo realised that although Orlando was acting grandly, he was nervous underneath. The fact that he was shaking just a little bit might have had something to do with that.

Viggo flicked away at Orlando’s buttons one by one until he’s shirt was hanging open exposing his taut stomach. Viggo admired it and laid his hand across his navel. He kissed Orlando as he slid the rest of their clothing off. Gently he laid gentle kisses over Orlando’s neck and collarbone, sending shivers through the younger mans frame. Through nips and kisses Orlando whispered into Viggo’s ear,

“I’m scared” Now even his voice was shaking,

“I know…” Viggo kept licking and nibbling his way down Orlando ever so slowly, finding what made him moan, groan and sigh in pleasure. As he went along at his languid pace, the boy relaxed beneath Viggo, until he knew right when Orlando was ready. Viggo caressed between Orlando’s smooth thighs and inched his fingers towards his intimate areas. He kissed the boys thighs and made his way inwards to his screaming cock. Viggo sluggishly rolled his tongue across the hard flesh causing Orlando to squirm with delight; he unhurriedly withdrew and blew air ever so softly over Orlando’s skin, which elicited some *very* encouraging moans.

Viggo stopped for a moment “Dammit Orli you are so hot”

“Mmmm…” Orlando really did not care what Viggo was saying-he was too far-gone.

“You’re just so-“

“Please Vig…keep going”

“Oh okay” Viggo smiled and lowered his head once again. He reached in and ghosted his tongue across Orlando’s entrance, causing him to buck involuntarily,

“Oh JESUS!” Orlando had never felt anything so sweet in all his life,
“FUCKINGGODAMMITVIGGO!” His chest was rising and falling at a furious pace, as he tried to calm himself, but Viggo didn’t let up just yet. With measured calculation Viggo dipped his tongue in a little more, tearing Orlando up inside. The younger man struggled for words among his pre-orgasmic bliss

“You…you are killing me…” he managed to squeak out, as his hands began to rip at Viggo’s hair. Just as Viggo began to feel Orlando coming undone he stopped.

“Wha- what the hell?” Orlando’s head shot up and he stared at Viggo
“Don’t worry, you’ll get your chance” Viggo smiled deceptively. Orlando rolled his eyes, he didn’t want Viggo to stop what he was doing. He didn’t have much time to think though, because only moments later he felt Viggo’s slippery fingers slide deliciously into Him. He threw his head back with intense delight. God this man was too good thought Orlando…and he was much more prepared than Orlando. Viggo swept his fingers across his sweet spot, and Orlando couldn’t take it any more, he was gripping the sheets and squeezing his eyes closed, trying his very best to try and hold back the orgasm which was verging on catapulting itself at him. He groaned through his teeth at Viggo, who was teasing him with a smirk on his face. After a second more, he released Orlando; they were both very ready. Viggo took a moment out to lubricate himself generously. Orlando wished he’s just hurry up. He turned to Orlando and positioned his ankles onto his shoulders. Although Orlando was almost screaming for Viggo to be inside of him, there was a slight uncertainty still floating in his brown eyes.

“Relax” Viggo stroked over Orlando’s tattoo “Because this is the best part” Viggo placed his pounding erection at Orlando’s entrance, still rubbing at his stomach ever so softly. Viggo leaned in whispering into Orlando’s ear as he entered him

“Relax beautiful” he breathed heavily into the younger mans ear. Suddenly Orlando forgot about his worries, cares, or angst. He let his body take over-this felt way too good. Viggo sat still for a moment surrounded in Orlando’s warmth, he leaned down and kissed Orlando hard on the lips before moving a little, so that he could locate his pleasure centre. Viggo pulled almost all the way out again, before sliding lusciously back in. He threw his head back, beginning to lose his own control.

“You are so tight…” Viggo squeaked, trying to hold onto any coherent words that he could. Orlando gripped at Viggo’s back, digging his fingertips in hard.

“And…” Orlando was finding words hard to hold onto also “…You…are so fucking good” Viggo upped the pace slightly-he couldn’t help it. Hearing the boy’s praises was causing him to fly into orgasmic pleasure very quickly. The feeling was simply devastating, and Orlando was shaking so hard, that it was as if an earthquake was erupting inside if his stomach. Viggo wasn’t far behind. He reached down and began to stroke at Orlando’s cock, heightening his pleasure even further. Orlando clenched down on Viggo, feeling a rush of blood inside of him. The edge was so near and Orlando was about to go hurtling over it at a rapid pace. He threw his head back hard into the pillow, and dug his heels into Viggo’s back,

“Look at me!” Viggo groaned. Orlando’s head shot up, he could see the passion burning in Viggo’s eyes. He kept his eyes fixed on Orlando as his orgasm swept over him and spilled into Viggo’s hand. He screamed Viggo’s name as a prayer and had some very interesting things to say about Jesus. The pleasure was peaking for Orlando as Viggo came inside of him; stars were flying behind both of their eyes as the waves came crashing down inside of them.

As the aftershocks subsided Viggo lay gentle atop Orlando. He breathed across his neck, gently nipping and kissing him as they relaxed. When Viggo looked at Orlando’s post-orgasm-glowing face, his eyes where closed, dark lashes splayed across his cheeks. He was not asleep-he had a small smile spread across his lips, and his chest was still rising and falling a little more than usual.

“Viggo?” He asked, eyes still closed

“Yes?” Viggo leaned down speaking into his ear

“You are special” Viggo grinned as Orlando’s eyes flew open and looked right at him.

“I mean it old man” Orlando continued, “You said you’d take care of me, and you did. Not a lot of people have kept promises to me Vig” Viggo leaned back a little, looking at Orlando with concern

“Really?”

“Yeah…people just see me as a naïve little slut”

“Well” Viggo petted at Orlando’s damp curls “I don’t, so don’t you worry” Orlando smiled at Viggo serenely.

“I know Vi-“ Orlando stopped talking and his head shot up, as he heard a knock at the door. Viggo spun around and stared also.

“Shit! Who the fuck could that be?” Viggo half whispered, half shouted.

TBC…

current mood: awake
current music: Garbage-Beautiful Garbage

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Thursday, January 1st, 2004
6:53 pm - More smutty goodness...
Okay so this is a little fluffy but you know...

Title: In Dreams Part 2
Rating NC-17 (Overall) This part probably PG
Disclaimer: Didn't happen.
Warnings: This part angst and fluff.

When Viggo woke up he was still in Orlando’s trailer, but Orlando was gone. He stared at the vacant pillow next to him, pondering the possibilities of why Orlando was not there. He sat up and looked at his watch; it was still early. Good he mused no one will see me… Viggo got up and dressed reluctantly. He wished that he could sleep in for a while. Not gonna happen… He continued to think. Viggo walked out of the trailer with his camera looking around for something interesting to shoot. Late night or early morning was always the best time to take photos- there was no one around to disturb or annoy. The sun began to rise into the sky and the day was warming up quickly so Viggo began to walk to the set he was to work on for the day. From a distance he saw Orlando walking slowly towards the set also, Viggo smiled unconsciously. Orlando looked hot- even hotter than the night before Viggo thought. Viggo quickened his stead until he was walking directly behind the younger man,

“Hey there” he whispered to his neck.

Orlando jumped like a startled rabbit, his eyes wide, and mouth open. He searched for words but couldn’t seem to find them,

“Uh-hey…hi Viggo…hi” he muttered incoherently. Viggo knew something was up, he could see it in the young Brit’s eyes. He looked nervous and uncertain. Viggo looked back looked at Orlando with sorrow.

“Are you okay?”

Orlando looked away into the distance for a moment, then his eyes darted around. He couldn’t even look Viggo in the eyes.

“Is this about last night?” Viggo went on

“Uh...” Orlando breathed heavily, furrowing his brow “I…”

“Because”

“Yes…”

“It’s okay”

Orlando kept looking around with an unsure look in his eyes. He opened his mouth a few times as if to say something, but not sure what. After a few moments he suddenly and loudly burst out.

“I am not gay Viggo!”

A look of agony tore through Orlando’s face as he uttered the words. Obviously the night after Viggo had been anguished for the man, and Viggo could see this. Viggo tried to say something consoling, but Orlando had already turned and walked off in a hurry, kicking up dust behind him. Viggo rubbed his eyes and looked up dejectedly. His heart almost jumped from his chest as he noticed Sir Ian no more than 200 metres away. It was apparent he had heard the conversation- if not all of it, at least Orlando’s little outburst, and now he was looking on with an eyebrow raised.

So long had Orlando wanted Viggo and now it had happened he was too freaked out to try to reason with the situation.

The rest of the day was hell for both parties. Orlando would not look at Viggo. Viggo knew it was because he was confused, but it still hurt. Viggo wouldn’t look at Ian- God knows what he was thinking and all the day through Viggo was trying to think up some excuse for their words. Viggo still had no excuse when Ian approached him during lunch.

“Hello Viggo” Ian smiled at him, with a knowing in his eyes. Perhaps though it was just Viggo’s imagination.

“Hi Ian”

“Poor Orlando seems distant today don’t you think?” Oh great just what I need Viggo thought another over inquisitive brit. “He hasn’t spoken much today…poor lad seems upset about something”

An idea suddenly hit Viggo, he grinned and looked at Ian”

“Yeah he’s had an offer for some film, and he isn’t sure if he’s up to it”

“Really?” Ian seemed unconvinced

“It’s a difficult one, and I’ve been trying to help him rehearse for it”

“Go on” Ian was excessively interested.

“So he’s playing some gay guy who is confused about his identity…it really is a hard one”

“Indeed”

Ian was not falling for the idea. Not even in the slightest. Still he went along like he did for Viggo.

Orlando was without a doubt upset. Anxiety ate at his stomach the rest of the day and that night. What was going on. All his life he’d been attracted to woman, he’d never even looked at a man until he met Viggo-but it was like Viggo had cast a spell on him and now Orlando could not escape. It wasn’t just psychical attraction Orlando felt, he loved Viggo’s soul and spirit too. Orlando lay awake in bed that night pondering wether Viggo had ever had experience with men before him. He sure acted as if he had, but maybe it was just because he was older.

The next day seemed even worse. The more time Orlando had to think, the worse he felt. Now he was beginning feel sick. Naturally it was affecting his work and for the most part his scenes with Viggo. He was becoming more confused, and as Viggo observed this, so did Ian.

Late in the day Ian pulled Orlando aside.

“Orlando I don’t know exactly what is gong on between you and Viggo but please work it out soon. You are really beginning ti annoy Peter.

Ian looked sternly at Orlando. It was almost like Gandalf speaking to Orlando, and this scared the younger man.

“Okay” He whimpered back.

“Like I said…I don’t know for sure…but I did hear your conversation with Viggo yesterday” Orlando rolled his now-blue-eyes at Ian. The older man continued to speak. “So how is the new film going-made a decision yet?”

“Decision?” Orlando was now very confused

“Yes. Are you going to take the role?”

“What role?”

“The one you were rehearsing with Viggo in the car park yesterday”

“I wasn’t…” Orlando trailed off. He was beginning to realise Viggo had set up a decoy, but now it was much too late. Orlando let his head drop and without another word he walked off with his shoulders slumped.

After a days work and worry, Orlando walked back to his trailer. He was staring at the ground absentmindedly. After daydreaming for 500 metres he was rapidly stopped by hitting another person head on. Orlando let his eyes focus…onto Viggo’s boots. Orlando sighed heavily.

“Sorry” Viggo spoke quietly. He reached out and touched Orlando’s shoulder, but he recoiled swiftly.

“S’okay” Orlando whispered back, head still to the ground. Slowly Viggo reached out his hand and lifted Orlando’s head so that he could look at him. Tears sprung into the younger man’s eyes, he tried to hold them back but it was on use.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you Orlando”

“You didn’t” Orlando replied hastily “You didn’t…”

Viggo began to stroke Orlando’s soft face. For the first time in 2 days he started to felt calm.

“Orli, just becuase you were with me…it doesn’t mean your gay” Orlando said nothing, but looked up some more in want of an explanation. “It can mean a lot of things”

“It can?” Viggo smiled at Orlando’s naivety.

“Orlando it doesn’t matter. You’re still the person you were a week ago. We are all just people-remember that” Viggo fell silent and looked off into the coolness of the night.

“Viggo?” He looked up again at Orlando

“Have you ever been…have you ever been with a guy before?”

“Only once. A long time ago too” That was what Orlando was expecting to hear.
“I was confused too”

Orlando nodded then smiled at Viggo. At least now they’d talked.

“Orlando, whatever you want to do. It’s up to you okay?”

“Okay”

Viggo smiled again and walked away towards his trailer. Into the mist Orlando thought.

“Wait!” Orlando called out. “I want to spend the night with you”

TBC...

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3:09 pm - Oh happy New Year!
So. Fucking. Tired.

That is how I feel right now. Last night I went to a Lord of the Rings movie marathon. It went from 8:30pm until 6:00am. Anyway, I have not been to bed yet, so I am pretty tired. Still the marathon was fun- it was good to see all of the films together. Return of the King is simply awesome, totally stunning.

I realise I have not written for a long time. So thinking back, what have I missed? Um…19 days. So I am trying not to go out to nightclubs etc as much now, I am trying to save $$$ and I am getting sick of it anyway. I didn’t have a bad Christmas, I ate too many chocolates of course. I think I’ll go on a crash diet tomorrow. Hmm, I am fairly confused about the future right now- God knows what I am going to end up doing/being.

TRAIN are still asses. Of course. I still love Orlando and Viggo. I still hate the world!


I am really tired, so I’ve probably, actually most likely missed a lot of stuff, but I’ll catch up another day.

Ciao.

Oh yes there will be another Vigorli fic coming up...

current mood: amused
current music: FOTR soundtrack

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Friday, December 19th, 2003
2:51 pm
dreams

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2:49 pm - lets see
jasmin28

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12:57 pm - Stupid!
Help! The link didn't work...I can't do it!!!!

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